Whether you’re pining after your co-worker or a crush, the thought of losing someone you like before even you never dated with them can be heartbreaking and leave you feeling emotionally devastated and hollow inside – you want that person back, and it’s consuming every waking thought in your head. Letting go of someone you love and the hurt that follows can be devastating. But there are ways to cope with it. When you experience depression, you will likely feel sadness and want to give up on yourself and life itself. In addition to physical pain. The intensity of your emotions during this time can be overwhelming. So it’s important to focus on one area at a time in order to handle the grieving process effectively. Recommended reading for you: How to get over someone you never dated? (complete guide)  How to get over someone you like and have deep feelings for? In this guide let’s discuss some important tips to move on. These simple steps will help you get over the person you like, whether that means getting them out of your head or moving on with your life to find someone who will be right for you.

How to get over someone you like?

The key to getting over someone you like is by realizing who you are and setting yourself up for success. Be so focused on improving yourself and set goals that are manageable and reasonable and become unstoppable such that your emotions have no control over you.  If you set goals that are too high or don’t allow enough time, your efforts will quickly turn into disappointment. Rather than trying to forget your ex altogether, focus on doing things that make you happy in other ways.  Whether it be participating in activities or spending time with friends. As much as possible, focus on removing any reminders of your ex from your life—keeping pictures or contact information away can help avoid thinking about them when they’re gone. But don’t push yourself too hard—remember that it takes time to recover from heartbreak and putting excessive pressure on yourself can only increase stress levels and delay progress. Follow these step by step guide to get over someone you like and have feelings for.

5 steps to get over someone you like

Step 1: Identify why you have fallen for them.

Understand why you have fallen for that person. If possible try to connect with your subconscious mind through meditation. Take a walk outside alone and think about why you are attracted to him/her? Is it their physical appearance or do they have attractive personality traits?  I’m sure if you dig deep into your heart, mind and soul, you will be able to answer these questions easily. Once you have identified reasons as to why you were attracted towards that person then list down those reasons on a piece of paper. This is very important as we tend to forget what we fall in love for.

4 Tips to identify why you have fallen for them.

  1. Observe yourself when you are with them. Do you feel happy, warm and connected when they are around or not? If yes then list down what traits of their personality make you feel that way. For example if it is their sense of humor, intelligence etc. Make a note of all those qualities. This will help you know why exactly you were attracted towards him/her in first place. 
  2. How do they make you feel? Take time to think about how he/she makes you feel about yourself whenever he/she interacts with you. Are you proud to be by their side? Does your self-esteem go up when they treat you nicely or ignore you?
  3. Are they helping you grow in some way? Most often than not, we fall for people who inspire us in one way or another. They can be our role models at work, our mentors when it comes to life lessons and so on.
  4. Do they share similar interests as you? There’s no denying that passion and interest plays an important role when we connect with someone else’s heart. Therefore it is very likely that you have fallen for them because they share similar interests as yours. Once you have come to terms with these facts, once again rewrite these reasons on paper.  Recommended reading: How to get over someone who hurt you?

Step 2: Implement those characteristics in yourself.

Nobody likes seeing somebody else succeed at something they didn’t try. If you want to move on and feel better about yourself, pick a quality of your ex and implement it in yourself. For example, if the person you like was loving then try harder at being more affectionate with those around you now. Remember that actions speak louder than words, so working on developing those new qualities will help bring you happiness as well as show others how much better off life is without your ex around anymore.

5 tips to implement the characteristics of someone you like.

  1. Learn how to recognize your ex’s good qualities and develop them in yourself. Learn what actions they take when dealing with situations, what they do when others are down, and try on those qualities for yourself.
  2. Understand what you don’t like about your ex and focus on improving those qualities in yourself instead of trying to change them into what you want them to be.
  3. practice smiling more. Don’t try to replace your ex, try to make yourself better and be unique in your own way.
  4. Don’t try to be what they want you to be, show them that they are missing out on your awesomeness by not being with you anymore. Remember there is more than one person in this world that can make you happy.
  5. Focus on those who are already trying their best to make you happy, don’t let them go, and show them how much better your life is with them in it. Recommended reading: How to get over someone you love who doesn’t love back?

Step 3: Find those characteristics in other people and develop relationships with them.

Understand that these are qualities associated with your ex, but they aren’t theirs. No one is perfect, and finding that out first hand will do more for making yourself attractive than sitting around crying into a pint of ice cream. It makes people feel good when they are with positive people. If you understand what made your ex great and work on those areas in yourself, eventually another person will come along who can’t wait to be around you too.

5 tips to attract similar characteristics people to develop a relationship with you.

  1. Be friendly with strangers when you are in a social environment, not only when your friend is with you. When your friends talk about other people, listen more carefully than to what they are saying but to how they are saying it.
  2. Pay attention, not only to your friends but also to your family’s behavior when they are interacting with other people.
  3. When having a conversation with others, be conscious of your tone and body language. People are more receptive when they feel confident that they are being listened to with empathy, rather than judging their actions or feelings.
  4. When you are talking with people, make a conscious effort to make them feel good about themselves and their actions, not better than yourself or your way of thinking.
  5. When in a group of people, let go of your need to show off or be right all of the time. Allow yourself to listen more than you talk.

Step 4: Understand your own personality type and work on your future.

The key to developing a positive attitude is knowing your personality type and what motivates you. Someone who’s motivated by rewards and recognition, for example, can keep moving forward in their future when they know there’s something exciting waiting at the end of hard work.  Meanwhile, someone who thrives on spontaneity and variety might look for new things to do on a regular basis rather than dwell on their current situation. The first step towards getting over someone is identifying your personality type—and making sure that any goals or plans are aligned with it.

5 Tips to understand your own personality type and work on your future to get over someone you like

  1. Accept that personality type exists, but take it with a grain of salt: Personality assessments are often controversial, since there’s not always consensus on how they work or whether they have any real value. However, many personality tests are free online, so there’s no harm in taking one and seeing how your answers compare to other people who took the same test—just make sure you don’t take them too seriously. 2.Take a deep dive into your personal interests and goals: If you want to learn more about what motivates you, take time for introspection.
  2. Be honest with yourself about who your ideal partners are: Answering tough questions, including what qualities are important to you in a romantic partner, can lead to greater self-awareness. There’s no one right answer that will apply to everyone, so just be honest with yourself—and don’t judge other people for their answers! If nothing else, it might be reassuring to learn that other people have had similar thoughts and feelings about romance as you have.
  3. Don’t overlook short-term rewards: Rewarding yourself for progress made towards your goals is important, especially if you have a hard time with self-motivation. If nothing else, doing something nice for yourself can be a good way to distract yourself from some of your more challenging feelings—and it might even serve as an inspiration to keep moving forward in your future!
  4. Get professional help if you need it: While there are plenty of ways to work on your own personality and develop coping mechanisms, sometimes working with a professional makes sense. A therapist or psychologist can help you identify what motivates and inspires you, find new ways to reach out and connect with other people who share similar interests, and encourage you that there’s a bright future waiting after a difficult breakup.

Step 5: Stay away from the person you like, pick yourself up and move on.

You can’t stop thinking about them because your mind is wired that way. The more you try and stay away from that person, without giving it a chance, simply means that they will always occupy a large space in your mind and heart. One of the surest ways to overcome your feeling for them is by getting out of your comfort zone and actually doing something social or productive with other people. When you’re preoccupied with so many different things, some good and some bad, those feelings of love won’t be as strong as before. Eventually, as time passes on and as more positive experiences surface, those feelings will naturally dissipate until they disappear completely.

5 Tips to stay away from someone you like and bounce back to your natural self.

  1. Stay away from your phone/laptop – Your phone will constantly remind you of them, especially if they are around on social media. Keep yourself busy by staying away from your phone and laptop for a good 4-5 hours a day or at least until it’s too late for any form of communication.
  2. Distract yourself – Distractions are key in making sure that you’re not spending your time just thinking about them all day long. Spend some time with your friends and family instead of just moping around in your room feeling sorry for yourself.
  3. Focus on your passion – Again, not letting yourself think about them is very difficult but as long as you’re busy and preoccupied with your work or studies, those thoughts will be kept at bay for a good couple of hours. Being productive is key to staying happy and healthy both mentally and physically. It also makes sure that they don’t occupy every single one of your thoughts all day long.
  4. Exercise – Exercise is proven to reduce anxiety and stress which in turn makes it easier for you not to think about them all day long. It’s a good way of releasing endorphins in your body that will make you feel better and happier about yourself, in general.
  5. Bounce back – Every phase in life is temporary and if you remind yourself of that every time they enter your mind, it will be much easier for you to stay away from them without feeling guilty about it. If they are meant to be in your life again, they will eventually come back but until then, don’t waste your time thinking about something or someone that has no place in your life at all right now. If all else fails, keep reminding yourself that it’s just a phase and something that will pass eventually. They might be important to you but not as much as they think they are and by keeping that in mind, it will be much easier for you to remain calm whenever they enter your thoughts again. My final thoughts on how to get over someone you like are get over someone you like would be to remember that there is no easy way, but it does happen. Don’t dwell on what was and where things went wrong. The only way forward is towards a future without them in it – a future full of memories with yourself as a key character. Your time with that person has made you into who you are today – for better or worse – and that too will fade away with time. You’ll find your footing again, your spark, and your passion for life will return – stronger than ever! Whatever happens from here, know that it’s okay to feel hurt and sad sometimes – but don’t let those feelings consume or define who you are or become. Good luck. recommended reading for you: How to get over someone you love deeply? Image credits: Heart vector created by jcomp – www.freepik.com We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for info.

Naveen’s expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with Naveen’s work, connect with him by following his social media accounts. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

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